Unexpected Home Birth

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Our day started off as normally as they have been at 9 months pregnant thinking that at any moment labor could start and we would need to get ready to go to the hospital. I had gone through the night unscathed with no contractions so I decided to go into work. Working at Starbucks on my feet all day has its ups and downs being pregnant. The downs are that I was getting sent home every day because of contractions starting after a few hours on my feet.

Anyways…after about 3 hours of working that morning I started having contractions 10 minutes apart.  I felt as if it was time so I told Tom to come pick me up from work, and while I waited for him to come get me I was overcome with emotion and started panicking. Everything seemed to have come crashing down all at once. By the time we got home my contractions faded off, and I was unbelievably disappointed that I yet again went through a few hours of contractions that led to nothing.

Tom and I decided to go throughout our day and just try to focus on spending some more time with Ezekiel. It was a normal night, with an extra long walk to try and get things going. By the end of the night I had decided that nothing was happening so I texted the bosses and told them although I was feeling fine I could not make it to work because of the mental state I was in. I started making my plans for Friday to keep me occupied while everyone was out of the house. Next thing I know I was asleep for the night…

2:13am I wake up as normal just having to pee for the 100th time that night just like every other night. Everything was normal, I sit there for just a few more seconds hoping that my water might have broken. It didn’t. So I wobble back to bed and lay down. I cannot stress enough how normal this moment was and how much I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. But…

pop. POP. POP! The noise freaked me out a little bit so I went back to the bathroom in case that noise was my water breaking. Next thing I know I started feeling pain ALL OVER.

Now I am not one of those women who believe the movies and think that I could possibly have this baby at home, or in the car or in the elevator for goodness sake! I never prepared for the thought that I may have to do this under the most stressful of circumstances. Especially by this point I figured my labor would start because of work and I would just have to go to the hospital from there. But boy was I wrong.

Back to my instant pain…I was leaning over the sink, walking around and even tried laying back down to ease this. Now this had only been a few minutes but I just couldn’t shake it so I shook Tom awake in hopes he could help me somehow, and to say it was probably time. When he woke up I couldn’t quite figure out how to tell him what I was thinking. All I knew was a contraction should not be lasting as long as this one was…

I was laying on our bed crying out in so much pain as Tom was getting himself and our stuff together, I started telling him that something was not right…something just felt off. He went down stairs to wake up my sister-in-law, Amy who just so happens to be my OB’s medical assistant.

“OH MY GOSH…I have to poop!” While in this non-stop pain all I could think was I need to do this before both Tom and Amy come back up…I know silly thoughts while in labor, but I wanted to be somewhat modest!

Once they got back upstairs, I’m sure you can guess I had not pooped. But I was holding onto the outside of the door frame trying to keep myself standing because by this point my legs were tingling and felt almost numb. Amy kept telling me that it’s okay and that we just have to get to the hospital. By now I knew that I wasn’t making it to the hospital I felt his head right between my legs! I just kept saying “No why is he coming now this shouldn’t be happening.” So Amy decided to take a look to see what was going on…

Now this is when things started becoming a little hazy for me…I remember Amy getting me to lay on the ground while I heard Tom in the background calling 911. Then I heard Ezekiel come out of his room crying, and for the rest of the time I could only think about Ezekiel. Had he seen? What did he hear? Is he okay? I was overcome with terror thinking I had just traumatized him.

2:35am after just a few moments of pushing Lincoln was born right there on our bathroom floor, and I went into complete shock. The paramedics and firefighters arrived, cut the cord and proceeded to strap me into the stair chair to get me out and on the way to the hospital. I was given my baby but was still in shock and started getting very cold.

Once we arrived we were taken straight to labor and delivery so they could delivery the placenta. The nurses took Lincoln to get all his measurements and make sure that he was okay. They had to keep him under the warming lights for about an hour so I knew he was safe and sound. That is when my body just let go and I could not focus on anything except for how cold and terrible I was feeling. I was given heated blanket after heated blanket with no signs of warming up. One nurse finally sent down orders to get me this heated suit that I wore for about an hour as well as some food. Finally I started coming to and felt better, and everything that just happened sunk in.

Some may think that having a home birth was such a cool experience but it was one of the scariest moments of my life. I am beyond grateful and continue to thank God that both Lincoln and I are safe and healthy. Also without the help of my sister-in-law, Amy being there to deliver Lincoln, my husband for calling 911 and making sure to get us in a safe place, and my brother-in-law, Shamus for taking care of Ezekiel while everything was going on I would not have been able to stay so sane through this all (well as sane as I think any person could have been).

After my first birth I suffered in silence from some really bad postpartum depression, and with a 1% chance birth of my second child the chance of postpartum is pretty high. That is why I am taking the time to write this out and process through all of these feelings that come with such an intense birth.

Life doesn’t always go as planned or expected but with the help of people around you it can make such times a lot easier to process. In just 12 minutes my life changed forever, but I have one of life’s most precious gifts to thank for it.

On October 6th 2017 my little baby boy Lincoln was born at 2:35 in the morning by my sister-in-law on our bathroom floor. Weighing in at an even 8lbs and 19.5 inches long he is my second little miracle.

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Pre-Labor Blues

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Burning. Contracting. Breath-taking pre-labor. Since Monday I have been experiencing pre-labor pains and I am sick of it! Don’t get me wrong I want to keep my baby in as long as possible to keep him safe and give him the best chance but I have reached the point where I just want this to be over with and for baby to make his appearance. I will have hours of consistent contractions that just do not get close enough together to warrant going into the hospital. Then I will have moments of time that I think my water has broken but UHMM nope! It’s just some kind of nasty mucus. Baby boy is also so far down between by legs that keeping my legs closed hurts so I am just sitting spread eagle…I know lady-like right? While on the subject of how far down he is let’s talk about the head grinding against the cervix feeling. The best I can put into words is that it is the feeling of the sound of when car breaks are metal to metal would feel like down yonder. Then with each hiccup he has it just puts the pressure on my bladder instantly and makes me feel like I am going to pee my pants. All of this on top of the normal late pregnancy symptoms has made it impossible to sleep and impossible to do much of anything. And I know, I know I should treasure the fact that my body is able to produce such an amazing thing but this pregnancy has taken the life out of me! AND I am the women who does not have a connection to this baby growing inside of me like all women say they have! If this is you as well, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This is baby number two for me and both times now I have not felt a connection instantly or even a few months after knowing I was pregnant. I do want to note that the feeling will change I love my first son, Ezekiel more than life itself. So come along with me for more discussion on this subject to get the word out that this is not weird or uncommon.